The thought of not being good enough is a painful one to have and having to deal with rejection is never something we look forward to, right?
Sometimes we put a lot of energy and effort towards something and we believe it will enhance our existence so when that does not happen we become sooooo frustrated and disappointed.
Like not getting the job that we worked hard preparing for the interviews or when we don’t receive back the love and affection we invested in a relationship.
But like it or not, suffering is part of life.
The good news is, that it is also truth that there is a path that leads to the end of suffering.
There’s not fast track to happiness, but there’s certainly light at the end of a tunnel.
Here are 3 steps to help you navigate during times of darkness.
Understanding what is causing you pain is the first step for liberation from the prison that is to be heavily identified with our emotions.
You are not sad, you feel sadness.
You are not angry, you feel anger.
You are not lonely, you feel loneliness.
So now is the time to step back and take an inventory of your emotions. Investigate how you feel and rephrase your statements.
Make it relevant for your personal experience.
Suppressing feelings is never a good idea and our hardships give us opportunity to grow and increase our empathy towards other human beings.
What is the root of your suffering?
Most of us have the tendency of exaggerating the qualities of a person or thing and that tendency justifies our strong desire to possess them. But honestly, how realistic is to think that there is only one person in the entire Universe that can complete us or that there is only one job in the whole world that can make us happy?
That tightness of mind limits our experiences and close ourselves up to infinite awesome possibilities.
Now try to develop a more balanced attitude towards that person or thing and see it clearly for what it is.
Absence of attachment equals peace of mind.
#3 PRACTICE SELF-COMPASSION
Accept that just like a dear friend you are willing to support and offer kindness, sometimes you might need to generate that same feeling towards yourself.
You can write a letter to yourself acknowledging your efforts, recognising your perseverance and ability to go after what you believe.
Or, you can silently repeat to yourself: “May I be strong”, “May I be patient”, “May I give myself the compassion that I need”
Last, but not least, keep in mind that sometimes not getting what we want is the best thing that can possibly happen to us.